Lighthouse Pictures

It is not hard to understand what people like about lighthouses. The idea of a light shining in the dark, guiding ships home to safe harbor, is a powerful and poetic metaphor. Everyone has times of darkness, and in those times it is nice to be able to look towards some metaphorical lighthouse. Whether this role is filled by religion, by one's job goals, or by one's family, it still can inspire us and take us through the hardest times.

When I first started collecting pictures of lighthouses, I was going through one of my hardest times. I really had no idea why I had the sudden compulsion to buy lighthouse pictures. At the time I was not able to reflect on my own motives. I was chronically drunk, chronically depressed, and severely underemployed. The compulsion to buy lighthouse pictures was not helping. Every time I had a little bit of money, instead of buying some food I would buy a lighthouse picture, a lighthouse collectible, or some other artifact. I would get candles, lanterns, and the like. My house was filled with lights, but my life was filled with darkness.

I actually stopped buying lighthouse pictures the day that I went out to the ocean. One of my friend was going to the beach, and she thought that she could do me some good by getting me out of the house for a few hours. She lured me out there with the promise of a lighthouse, but when I looked at it it was old and decrepit. Although there were lighthouse pictures in the gift shop, they showed the lighthouse at an earlier age. Right them, it was a tumbledown wreck. It no longer led the way for ships, or even for tourists. The lighthouse pictures were forgeries. They were a memory of an earlier time. Soon, I realized that my lighthouse posters were a forgery as well.

Nowadays, I have gotten rid of all of my lighthouse pictures but one. That one is a picture that I took of that lighthouse on that particular day. It shows that the lighthouse is nothing. I knew that I was done with lighthouse pictures when I took that one. It would be the last. I needed to stop wishing and to get my life together. I went home, got a new job, and sobered up. But every year, I still go out to that ailing lighthouse and silently look at it for a few moments.